I picked up a copy of "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" by Neil Strauss.

Although I do not want to become what he's teaching guys to become in the book, I figured I'd try to acquire a few skills to apply in order to even get the girl (notice the (s) is not there) in first place. From what I have read, it is a bbaaadddd book, a dangerous one but in the hands of someone like me, I think it's harmless.

The author in the beginning is a lot like me, (it's a non fiction book) but I am even worst. I mean, realistically I don't consider myself unattractive or anything, and saying that I cannot attract girls is an insult to the ones who are cute and genuinely sweet that I could have had at some point in time, and that is an insult I will not allow. Therefore I can no longer say I can't get any girls even if a pretty valid point can be made towards that end, because that's an excuse I can't make up anymore. But my track record in the female relationship experience is close to nil, and among probably the lowest percentile among peers. I know now that I can live with them, and can live without them indefinitely, but in order to evolve as a human being who so openly embraces the idea of love in every faucet and relationship of life, I need to start doing something, anything. I think deep down I am what girls look for, because I wanna be that guy his girlfriend talks about to her girlfriends and can brag about. But at the same time, a paradox exists because of my self esteem, quite literally the bane of my existence; I don't think I am any good for anyone. 9/10 friends would probably say that is my biggest flaw. If you saw a movie of my life, it would be well explained, but nobody cares about that, including me, what matters is the here and now me. My self esteem is what allows me to get my devil may care-die for anyone attitude. Whatevs, thinking about it makes me frustrated, and as always life is always as it is, it is easier to become the character in Mr Strauss's book versus being the guy you want to be.

Single for life club, still got my membership.

I finished World War Z. What an awesome book (it's based on a lot of historical facts, but with a Zombie twist). Turning into a movie. I read Cell by Stephen King too, but it's not gonna be as good a movie as World War Z, even though the zombies in Cell are uber powerful. Been reading a lot of books lately, dropping a lot of money on amazon, who ships to US bases at the same price. I am gonna order some books in speed reading after I finish the 10+ I have on my list still.

Some people are too afraid to die. Being out here, you kindda just cope with it, actually being mobilized for deployment in the first place you kindda just get over it. If you hang onto the notion that you are somebody of some importance and start to ask if anybody cares about you, that's when you get PTSD, go watch "Hurt Locker" good movie about soldiers in the Iraq war. Death is natural, therefore a continuation of the natural way of life, therefore should be embraced not feared. I like the warrior mentality. The vikings who believed the only way to heaven was by dying in battle, so that the Valkyries may carry their souls to the halls of Vahalla where it can continue to thrive, or the Spartans in 300, not only not fearing death, but welcoming it as the glorious end to a purposeful, dutiful, and rightfully deemed life. Some people think I am crazy, but dude death goes hand in hand with life. What would it be like if everyone lived forever? The gods envy us for our fleeting moments. And I know atheism is in the in, and although I don't consider myself a necessarily spiritual man so I can converse productively with both sides of the spectrum, I know enough to know that man is not supreme, the buck does not stop with us. We are relatively a young race with only but 5 senses to know this world. Science somewhere along the line defined dimensions of reality that we've yet to breach. The universe is vast, and be as it may that maybe we won't find god in anyway shape or form we imagined, but somewhere along the seemingly never ending line of these cycles and indefinitions, something's gonna render all we do useless based on a simple shift of what we know, our collective comprehension with all that we can know.

Yeah they attack us with big explosions from time to time. I thought about it, and from a selfish standpoint, it won't even hurt that much, or at least for long, cause if it's gonna kill you, it's gonna kill you quick. Like separate any part of your vast complex bodily functions within less than fractions of a second so that you barely would even know it if you died. Unless like you get hit with shrapnel and torn up in places so bad. well that would suck. And if it happened to me, and the details of my death is released, if I died how I dreamed, hey! that would mean there is an afterlife. I mean it could still happen exactly the way it happened in my dream. (I am not saying that it will, but that would be kindda freaky and sort of a consolation prize right?) Letting people know they'd probably be able to know that I went to a different place on the other side and that they might be able to see/hear/feel/whatever it is you do there to sense me some day.

I am a pretty realistic guy also. I go ghost hunting all the time but have yet to seen jackshit. So technically I don't believe in ghosts, even though I wanna talk to one. I've heard stories from some pretty credible close people who've lived in post-vietnam war era and seen some freaky shit, but that is not clear cut evidence. However if you told me to go sleep in the middle of some haunted graveyard in a haunted abandoned forest known for its hauntings and told me to say there overnight, I would be hardpressed to retain my cool, but if that didn't give me clear cut evidence, nothing else probably would. (if somebody is more realistic than me, I am down to camp at exactly that type of place exactly as so, and we could go ghost camping at all these known haunted places)

I visited home on google maps. Saw my brother's car and my sisters car in the drive way. Saw the little dent on my garage, took it all in for awhile then I went and almost walked to the mall. Then I went to UCSD, took a walk to la jolla beach. 8250 Veredra Dr I believe. It hit me hard. Pretty damn hard, like hard for someone who is not a pussy but at the same time admits to being a pansy at times.

A close friend of mine here turned in his weapons because he was afraid he'd hurt himself or one of us. Stuff at home for him is all fucked up, especially with his girl dumping him also. Gotta turn that to fuel for conviction vs a falliable pillar. Before I left I was invited over for dinner. His grandma kissed me goodbye. hah.

I need to help him out, but with all of us working odd shifts, hours and places, it's really tough. I barely see half the people I know every other week.

Most sites are banned from the internet I am used, it's a special military type, even xanga is banned.

If ever I am on sites like facebook and such, it's because one, I traveled into town where I used to work at and look at it, or two, the satellite internet that costs a bizillion dollars is up for just awhile and I am lucky that one of the guys who pays for it is off on shift and is nice enough to lend me it.

Saving the world can be done in many different ways.

I read an article about how California is leading the push in the Green Revolution and how arguably the Headquarters of clean fuel research is happening in none other than La Jolla, where 500 million dollars have been infused into the economy in the push for research on bio-fuels. Algae as fuel, how crazy is that.

Kiva.org is a site where lenders can directly lend to people from an array of individuals all over the world who are living in poverty. By providing microfinance loans and infusing these poor local economies with the capital required to create and maintain local businesesses, everyday people like us can help bolster the economic conditions of people around the world. And if you are ambitious enough, you can take enough capital, go into a 3rd world economy, and bring about economic stability. (In India a guy did that, and he had one of the most successful financial institutions with a 96% inidvidual loan repayment rate, all he did was tag on a co signer, and if the loan was not repaid, both the primary and secondary loaner would not ever be able to get a loan again)

As for the medical push, if you're not a genius or anything and are probably not gonna invent the HIV vaccine, you can always go into parts of the world rampant for communicable diseases and just issue out a shit ton of immunizations. Think of the lives of kids and adults that would be saved. Heck, getting one sponsor and setting up a makeshift mobile clinic would send waves into the communities.

Emmanuel Jal, the former child soldier in Sudan's civil war said that he firmly believed in education and that if people were more educated there will be less war. Heck, set up a satellite connection and start a school, touching into math, literature, science, and current events. Schools are the wave of peace and progress in places like afghanistan where the literacy rate is 28.1% I've been more convinced that the less educated you are, the more likely you'd be convince to choose suicide bomber as a career path.

As for being a grunt, there will always be places in the world that needs physical security, and iron guts and steel balls will get you far. I recently read an article about how kids are afraid to go to school because of the instability and turmoil caused by the attacks of the Taliban. If there was more security, this would.....

station 8 your times up, .....eh tough luck.

Romania, that's a new one.

Black Eyed Peas - "One Tribe", reminds me of the BEPs I fell in love with.

My good friend Mountain (rightly named so) sent me a book that has propelled it's way to my all time fave. "Born to Run"- by Christopher Mcdougall.

I no longer think the trans-pacific trail is a 9 month+ hike that I can only do when I am retired. I know that a 1000+ mile trail can be covered in a matter of weeks.

The book let's me know humans can be superhuman, and it has clear cut evidence.

The Leadville 100 (miles), an Ultramarathon of a monster in the Colorado Rockies above 10,000 feet elevation. 30 hours, nearly 4 back to back to back to back marathons in one with insane conditions. Insanity.

Just like joining the military, that's gonna be an itch that I hope keeps growing til I have to scratch it.

In boot there was a guy who always beat me in the two miler, and he made it look easy. I think he broke the 12 minute threshold. I could never figure out why cause my body was more fine tuned for running than his, then I learned he was from Colorado, and then I went to medic school and studied the effects of high altitudes on the human body. You can't breathe that well up that high so when you're down with the normal people, you have an edge. What a cheater lol.

I can't run well here, I get anxiety attacks if I am out in the open too long. (snipers and indirect fire)

But I need to do it. >=/

It's the first book I read where I got goosebumbs and my hair stood on end, then when I looked at my arms as my goosebumbs settled, I started reading again and a couple pages later my arms were the same way again.

My goosebumbs only come out when I am really cold or am really inspired or struck  by something so much that it sends chills through me.

I even came up with some names for my kids because of this book. - guy, Zapotek Pearson Tran, - girl, Tarahumara Raramuji Tran lol.

(Pearson didn't come from the book, he's just my all around hero for being the father of modern peacekeeping and founder of the UN peacekeepers.)(he was also a combat medic =))